Wednesday, April 23, 2008

you know when people think they're funny...

so Patric and I went to the candy store in the mall. i ignored the thoughts of little children with disgusting hands and adolescents with even sketchier hygiene reaching into the bins of candy without the benefit of the plastic tongs that are provided or even a hazmat suit, and we got candy.

while we were there, we ran across these pretty little colorful bears.


may i direct your eye to the descriptive line of text?



really? it's been awhile since I've crunched a bear whole and i'd forgotten about the annoyingness of the bones getting in the way of the gamey yet strangely satisfying meat.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Like a Puppy.

After seeing this picture on my screen, a female co-worker commented, "She's easy on the eyes."
I said "That's kind of creepy."
She said "No, I meant easy on the eyes like a flower or a puppy."
My co-worker doesn't have children and I guess that's the best she can do. But really, a puppy?

Friday, April 4, 2008

no, really, that's what she said.

first, i draw his head, and then eyes and a smile. 2 legs and look, mommy! i draw his bootie!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

so i never have to explain myself ever again.

Two farmhands went to a country dance. One of the hands, Joe, had a
wooden eye and was very self-conscious about it. Joe told the other guy,
Bill, that he was worried about someone saying something about his
wooden eye. Bill told him not to worry because it was a good eye and
most people couldn’t tell it from a real eye.

Bill danced nearly every dance as there were a lot of farm girls
there. Joe just didn’t dance at all. Finally, Bill went over to Joe and
asked if he had danced with any of the girls.

Joe told him that he had not because he was concerned about them
saying something about his wooden eye. Bill told him again not to be
concerned about it.

Bill pointed to a girl sitting across the room and told Joe, “See
that good-looking girl over there? She’s got a hair-lip and hasn’t
danced but once or twice. I danced with her once and she’s an excellent
dancer and real polite. Go over there and ask her to dance. She won’t
say anything about your wooden eye.”

So Joe went over to the hair-lipped girl and asked, “Do you want to
dance?” To which she replied in a high pitched hair-lipped voice, “Would
I, Would I?”

To which Joe replied, “Hair-lip, Hair-lip!!!!”

Saturday, March 22, 2008

happy easter!




i've realized that's it's not really easter until you've dyed eggs. Although i can't figure out why on the one sunday when you're supposed to look your absolute best, is when your hands are brown from all the different colors that you've used to dye eggs. and then your mom puts your hair in pink spongee rollers that you're supposed to sleep on. but you can't cuz they hurt...

anyway. happy easter!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Thursday, March 13, 2008